Well then I met Jeremy. He was the first person I kissed after meeting him for less than a day. This being said, I thought for sure I would end up liking him and get hurt so I was mentally prepared for this. But I never had the "I like you" feeling with him. Didn't help that he was a smoker (Eww) and had lost track of his sexual partners, non the less, I never ended up "falling" for him.
So then eventually I start dating and feel like I may have lost the ability to feel that. I had a little "benefit" last night and it was a ton of fun. But still, no feeling. Not that there should be with that kind of arrangement but I am a girl. Girls are known for trying this and falling for the guy. Am I broken or something?? I mean even with the whole Brandon situation I don't know that I really had those feelings. And if you know the story you know there is probably a reason for that but even still, how could I not feel it. I am always thinking of past relationships (one in particular) and its like I am stuck on what that was and that everything should feel the same, when in my head, I know that's not true.
Anyway, I guess I just wanted to share my much needed adventure last night and the fact that I am crazy! I envy all that are happily married and no longer have to play the dating game! Someday I will get there and have all of the new marriage stories, as for now, we are still on the confusing dating life of Deana :)
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