I saw Leighton again this weekend. I invited him to a Halloween party I was going to. He was supposed to be there around ten but he was super late. So late that I wasn't sure he was coming. But he did come and we had a great time. I dressed up as little red riding hood and he was spawn. I have no idea who that is but apparently is a cool thing to be. He wore a mask which was actually kind of scary so I am glad he kept it off the whole night!
He is very social. He talked with more people at the party than I did and he didn't know anyone but me! I really like that. I need someone who can be confidant like that and just jump right in and have a good time. He stayed pretty close to me for the party which was nice too :)
As the party came to an end Craig, Kelsi, Leighton and I started talking. Mostly Kelsi and Leighton talked because Craig and I were super tired but we chimed in every once and a while with our opinion. We eventually got up and headed to Craig and Kelsi's as Craig was the only one able to drive so we just planned to sleep at their house. We all fell right asleep! It was a great night.
The next morning Craig and Kelsi made french toast and coffee! Yumm :) Then we just hung out until the Steelers game came on and we watched that. Leighton is not really a fan of football but he stuck around and watched the game. Not that he really had a choice since his car was still at the house we had the Halloween party at. After the game we put in X-Men Wolverine and I fell asleep with him on the couch. It was nice to just be able to relax all day and do nothing. We stayed at their house until 5:30pm! And the only reason we got up and left is because Craig had to be to bowling soon. So we took Leighton to his car finally and we said our goodbye and he left and we all went to the bowling ally with Craig.He has been texting me since then and still makes me laugh which is a very good thing. I thoroughly enjoy his company and want to see him again.
With all that being said...I am still a crazy person! It is pretty obvious that he is interested in seeing me again and that he enjoys my company. But I am of course still having my issues with all of this. It has been a long time since I have been in this situation and I have been trying my hardest to not let myself feel anything. That way if he stops talking to me for some reason, I am ok with it and I can just move on like nothing has happened. Well I screwed that up. I think I might feel something! I tried so hard to block it but its not working anymore. I am freaking out inside about it. I don't know how to shut it off. But at the same time, this is what I want so why would I try to shut it off? Oh I know why...Cuz I am crazy!
I have even tried to avoid eye contact so that I don't get lost in his eyes and feel any more of a connection than I let myself. But that hasn't worked in my favor I guess since I am still thinking of him all day and wondering crazy things!
A few years ago this would have been an exciting thing for me but now its just scary. I am 26 years old and the next boyfriend I have is possibly going to be the last one. At least that's the hope. So if I let myself feel something and get sucked into a relationship and love someone again...Well, that's just terrifying! And I just cant help myself! Oh geez...
No comments:
Post a Comment